Hi! I’m Camila – owner and creative behind Lovecraft Events, and today is my birthday 😀
As I enter my 28th year of life, I am feeling introspective. This past year was one of many changes – I married the love of my life, Adam. I quit my 9 – 5 “day job” to pursue my wedding planning passion full time (I had been doing “double duty” working 70+ hours a week to accommodate my traditional work schedule and planning on the side for years). And I became pregnant with my first child, our sweet Evangeline Rose, who is due in February 2020. Even last year, if you had told me where I would be standing today, I don’t think I would have believed you.
My point here is, life can change quickly. And it changes whether or not you are willing to change along with it. In the past, I let fear and trepidation rule over my life. I remained in unhealthy relationships and friendships because change scared me. I stayed in spirit-crushing jobs that caused me tremendous anxiety, and where I wasn’t valued, because I was terrified of losing that predictable stability. And you know what? It wasn’t worth it.
I look back now and think to myself, “why didn’t I leave sooner?! Jump sooner?!” The most important thing you can believe in, invest in, is your trust in yourself and your ability to do amazing, incredible things. Is it always easy? Hell no! It is scary, strange, and nerve wracking. There will be many a sleepless night where you wonder if you’ll make ends meet the next month, or if you are really “cut out” to make your dreams a reality, whatever they may be. But I am a firm believer now in the old phrase, “if you can dream it, you can do it.”
One thing I have learned in the last few years is that your gut instinct is never wrong. Those feelings are put in us for a divine purpose, and we are meant to use those feelings to steer ourselves in the right direction. I knew the minute I met my husband that he was something special, even though I had just exited a very unhealthy long term relationship and there was a lot of pressure out there for me to “take my time” getting into a new relationship – I tried to push him away because I was afraid of that judgement, and the feelings I had for him, and what they all meant. This year, sitting in my office chair in my corporate job at 2pm on yet another Tuesday afternoon crippled with anxiety and the feeling that something more was out there for me, I knew I needed to start turning the wheels toward pursuing my own business full time. I quit within 3 months of having that feeling. Was I financially ready? Nope. Were all the right things in place? Double nope. I just knew that if I didn’t do it now, I might not ever.
If there is one thing I can teach our daughter when she makes her entrance into this strange, beautiful, confusing world it is this: To hell with what anyone else thinks you should do, or who you should be. There are plenty of other (mostly unhappy) people out there who will force their opinions and expectations upon her, regardless of what is actually best for her and her life. She is entitled to follow her gut, make her own decisions, and fall on her face as many times as necessary to shape her character, and her destiny. I promise to be here to teach her to be kind (to others and herself), dust her off, and set her back on her way.
To my family, friends, fellow wedding vendors (friendors!), and beloved couples – thank you for believing in my work. For encouraging me, believing in my potential, and valuing what it is I have to offer. Your support means the world to me.
Love and big hugs,
Camila (the Wedding Rebel)